Sunday, January 31, 2010
Break Up – Beware of The 5 Stages
There are frequently 5 stages of a break up. The stages are fundamental to the recovery process. Being aware that there is a specific set of stages that we follow will help make it easier for you to cope with the break up. More notably this will help with healing course. It can take a few years for you to completely get over the terrible pain, but by breaking the break up process into five stages, you can learn how to cope with the loss a little more easily.
First stage- Acceptance
In this stage, all that you can really do is to accept that the break up is real. Don’t try to wrap your head around what is happening. Your feelings will be all over the place. The breakup may consume every aspect of your life. You probably will feel completely powerless and beaten down
It is important when you are in this phase, that you work through your pain, by focusing on positive things, like journaling, playing sports, creating art, exercising, doing crafts or spending time with people you feel close to.
Second stage - Let It Out
It is not healthy keeping your feelings bottled up. In this stage you should try to free yourself from your hurt by opening yourself up. Now is the time to let things out rather than just pretending to cope. You do not have to feel like you are losing control just because you are letting your feelings out. Shedding a few tears and pouring your disappointment out into artistic activities like writing and painting can be really good for you. It is very healthy to express yourself in a safe and comfortable place during this stage.
Third stage – Nurturing
This is the stage where you allow other people to help you heal. Take the time to spend time with close friends and family. Allow them to offer their view point, and give them a chance to take care of you. However, a word of warning should be noted at this point.
Many times your loved ones, not on purpose, can hinder your recovery. They may vent anger at your ex lover and encourage you to seek revenge. This is not a good way to go about healing: it will only extend the agony. Back away from negativity and negative people.
Fourth stage - Reward
You have been suffering long enough. It is time to treat your self with something nice like a makeover or a trip abroad. The Reward stage is about rewarding yourself in positive and healthful ways. Let this break up be the beginning of a new and improved you. Rather than dwelling on the failure of the relationship, focus on self development,
Fifth stage - Moving on
Finally you can start to look at the big picture. You have acknowledged the situation for what it is and can now think about moving on. This is the point where you can see why the break up occurred, and realize that maybe it was a good thing.
By stage 5 of the 5 stages of a breakup, you are no longer concerned about what the other person is doing or thinking. You look at the entire occurrence as something that happened in the past and can finally move beyond it.
First stage- Acceptance
In this stage, all that you can really do is to accept that the break up is real. Don’t try to wrap your head around what is happening. Your feelings will be all over the place. The breakup may consume every aspect of your life. You probably will feel completely powerless and beaten down
It is important when you are in this phase, that you work through your pain, by focusing on positive things, like journaling, playing sports, creating art, exercising, doing crafts or spending time with people you feel close to.
Second stage - Let It Out
It is not healthy keeping your feelings bottled up. In this stage you should try to free yourself from your hurt by opening yourself up. Now is the time to let things out rather than just pretending to cope. You do not have to feel like you are losing control just because you are letting your feelings out. Shedding a few tears and pouring your disappointment out into artistic activities like writing and painting can be really good for you. It is very healthy to express yourself in a safe and comfortable place during this stage.
Third stage – Nurturing
This is the stage where you allow other people to help you heal. Take the time to spend time with close friends and family. Allow them to offer their view point, and give them a chance to take care of you. However, a word of warning should be noted at this point.
Many times your loved ones, not on purpose, can hinder your recovery. They may vent anger at your ex lover and encourage you to seek revenge. This is not a good way to go about healing: it will only extend the agony. Back away from negativity and negative people.
Fourth stage - Reward
You have been suffering long enough. It is time to treat your self with something nice like a makeover or a trip abroad. The Reward stage is about rewarding yourself in positive and healthful ways. Let this break up be the beginning of a new and improved you. Rather than dwelling on the failure of the relationship, focus on self development,
Fifth stage - Moving on
Finally you can start to look at the big picture. You have acknowledged the situation for what it is and can now think about moving on. This is the point where you can see why the break up occurred, and realize that maybe it was a good thing.
By stage 5 of the 5 stages of a breakup, you are no longer concerned about what the other person is doing or thinking. You look at the entire occurrence as something that happened in the past and can finally move beyond it.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Ex Boyfriend Back
Some relationships are worth trying to save. Do you want to stop your break up? Do you want your ex-boyfriend back? The first thing that you need to do is to determine whether or not this is actually what you want to achieve. If so, the following 7 tips to get your ex boyfriend back, may be able to help.
1 – Do not tell him that you want him back. Chances are he is missing you too. You should play a little bit hard to get and let him remember why he misses you and wants you back. Whatever you do don't over do it, as it could blow up in your face.
2 - Get a little closer to his male friends to stir up a bit of jealousy. Some times all that it takes is to remind him how much he wants you back by making him a little jealous. However, be warned, this approach could possibly backfire on you.
3 - Try to feel at ease and confident when you are around him. Most guys prefer girls that know what is best for them.
4- Bring back the sweet terms of endearment you guys used when you first fell in love with each other. Talk to him the same way that you want to be spoken to if you want to relight a mushy feeling between the two of you.
5. - Don't try too hard. However, don't out-and-out ignore your ex boyfriend, but don’t obsess over him either. It is better if you could make him wonder about you again. Tell him you have a lot going on. Let him sit and stew, and he may end up being the one revitalizing things! Once again don't overdo it.
6. Act like you know he cares about you, but that you're not that moved by it. The moment he thinks you're getting over him, he may try to get you back. Let him remember how important you are and see what happens.
7. Show him that you can revel in life without him. Don't be nasty to him, but show him that you're having a good time with your friends and he may remember why he fell in love with you in the first place.
These 7 ways to get your ex boyfriend back are not set in stone and you should be flexible. Use your commonsense and allow the honesty of your love to stand out and hopefully your ex will be back in your arms before you know it.
1 – Do not tell him that you want him back. Chances are he is missing you too. You should play a little bit hard to get and let him remember why he misses you and wants you back. Whatever you do don't over do it, as it could blow up in your face.
2 - Get a little closer to his male friends to stir up a bit of jealousy. Some times all that it takes is to remind him how much he wants you back by making him a little jealous. However, be warned, this approach could possibly backfire on you.
3 - Try to feel at ease and confident when you are around him. Most guys prefer girls that know what is best for them.
4- Bring back the sweet terms of endearment you guys used when you first fell in love with each other. Talk to him the same way that you want to be spoken to if you want to relight a mushy feeling between the two of you.
5. - Don't try too hard. However, don't out-and-out ignore your ex boyfriend, but don’t obsess over him either. It is better if you could make him wonder about you again. Tell him you have a lot going on. Let him sit and stew, and he may end up being the one revitalizing things! Once again don't overdo it.
6. Act like you know he cares about you, but that you're not that moved by it. The moment he thinks you're getting over him, he may try to get you back. Let him remember how important you are and see what happens.
7. Show him that you can revel in life without him. Don't be nasty to him, but show him that you're having a good time with your friends and he may remember why he fell in love with you in the first place.
These 7 ways to get your ex boyfriend back are not set in stone and you should be flexible. Use your commonsense and allow the honesty of your love to stand out and hopefully your ex will be back in your arms before you know it.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Rebound Flings After a Break Up: Your good friend just broke up with a long-term partner, and within a week or .. http://bit.ly/4nb4II
Rebound Flings
Your good friend just broke up with a long-term partner, and within a week or two, your friend is dating someone who is clearly all wrong for them. It’s one of the most common after effects of the end of relationships - it is called rebound dating.
The thought of rebound relationships is so embedded into the way we think about dating that it just seems natural to look for someone new after a breakup. There’s something to be said for getting back in the saddle. However, when choosing a partner while your judgment is clouded, as a rule, does more harm than good. If you want to get over your ex , there are better ways to do it.
Band-Aid relationships
More often than not, we just miss the friendship and look for someone to fill the gap and distract us from the fact that our heart’s just been broken. But a broken heart may not in the best condition to engage in romance. In fact, jumping right in another relationship is probably not a good thing. In many cases, it may be better to find a social time-filler that doesn’t entail romance.
Maintain your standards
The best thing you can do to avoid getting involved with someone who’s all wrong for you is stick to your standards. In fact, go ahead and raise them a little just to add a safeguard. If the person you’re thinking about dating is less nice , less intelligent, less anything that you’d normally want - stay away.
Beware
When we look for someone to rebound with, we usually need someone fast. We don’t have time to “waste” looking for someone we really click with, so we tend to clamp on to someone we already know and have at least some rapport with. It might be a co-worker, or your neighborhood bartender. If you find yourself falling for someone you’ve never been the least bit drawn to before, stop and think about what’s really going on here.
Take time for yourself
Instead of filling your time with go-nowhere dates, get out and make some new friends - that’s friends - not lovers. There’s a difference. Try to get caught up in something you’ve always wanted to do but never had time for. Whatever you do, don’t sit around longing for your ex or drowning your sorrow in booze.
Take it Easy.
Even if you are not crying into your pillow every night, the end of a relationship will naturally make you feel like crap. It may be best not to start any key projects for a few weeks. Instead, treat yourself and do something you enjoy like skiing or bowling.
Of course, not every rebound relationship ends up a failure. If you’re lucky, you’ll have a fun fling. Remember, if you do decide to pursue a rebound relationship, make sure you’ve taken a little off by yourself and you’re not reducing your standards. Do not date the first creep who comes along. If you follow the above advice you can avoid rebound dates gone wrong.
The thought of rebound relationships is so embedded into the way we think about dating that it just seems natural to look for someone new after a breakup. There’s something to be said for getting back in the saddle. However, when choosing a partner while your judgment is clouded, as a rule, does more harm than good. If you want to get over your ex , there are better ways to do it.
Band-Aid relationships
More often than not, we just miss the friendship and look for someone to fill the gap and distract us from the fact that our heart’s just been broken. But a broken heart may not in the best condition to engage in romance. In fact, jumping right in another relationship is probably not a good thing. In many cases, it may be better to find a social time-filler that doesn’t entail romance.
Maintain your standards
The best thing you can do to avoid getting involved with someone who’s all wrong for you is stick to your standards. In fact, go ahead and raise them a little just to add a safeguard. If the person you’re thinking about dating is less nice , less intelligent, less anything that you’d normally want - stay away.
Beware
When we look for someone to rebound with, we usually need someone fast. We don’t have time to “waste” looking for someone we really click with, so we tend to clamp on to someone we already know and have at least some rapport with. It might be a co-worker, or your neighborhood bartender. If you find yourself falling for someone you’ve never been the least bit drawn to before, stop and think about what’s really going on here.
Take time for yourself
Instead of filling your time with go-nowhere dates, get out and make some new friends - that’s friends - not lovers. There’s a difference. Try to get caught up in something you’ve always wanted to do but never had time for. Whatever you do, don’t sit around longing for your ex or drowning your sorrow in booze.
Take it Easy.
Even if you are not crying into your pillow every night, the end of a relationship will naturally make you feel like crap. It may be best not to start any key projects for a few weeks. Instead, treat yourself and do something you enjoy like skiing or bowling.
Of course, not every rebound relationship ends up a failure. If you’re lucky, you’ll have a fun fling. Remember, if you do decide to pursue a rebound relationship, make sure you’ve taken a little off by yourself and you’re not reducing your standards. Do not date the first creep who comes along. If you follow the above advice you can avoid rebound dates gone wrong.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Save Your Marriage?: Today divorce is all too common. It is easy to recognize why so many married couples start.. http://bit.ly/4FZ7oY
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Friday, January 15, 2010
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